In the course of uniting again common enemies and for common
goals, so little time is left for adventurers to speak of personal
matters at length. Perhaps for many this proves to be a boon,
as often those who take the path of an adventurer were once forced
from another way of life. Many may not want to share the details
of their lives, but I wish to speak of mine.
I was born in Quentari on a cold March morning within the hall
of my family. My mother was not much older than I am now, barely
a year as a hyaralinde, one who leaves the Phellanyrastralae for
a span to experience the ways of the larger world. The elderberry
wine served at Midsummer is enough to coax any elf to enjoy the
pleasure of a night's tryst, and Falaena said a passion claimed
her that night, and I was conceived from it.
It is no shame that an elf be born outside of a Lifemating as
there are great-great aunts and grandfathers and cousins that
raise the children of the Phellanyrastralae after a year with
the mother. A year-and-a-day after my birth, the Ceremony of Parting
was completed, and my mother took up her sword again to continue
her span away from the hall of her kin. Many of the humans I have
encountered do not know what it is like to grow up in an extended
family. Perhaps it is because their lives are too short. They
do not know the blessing of a dozen caretakers willing to soothe
away a child's tears or the wisdom of those who have seen the
change of centuries.
All my play with my cousins seemed to have a purpose, to sharpen
young bodies and minds. In between the play and rest, we learned
the Common Tongue, the ceremonial chants, the script of our people,
riding and swimming and dancing. Each curiosity was indulged,
exploration encouraged. Ever and always we were instilled with
the values of stewardship to our land and people: the Phellanyrastralae
give their lives in service so others may live in peace and freedom.
It is a high honor to be among the chosen to serve the Aran. Families
who seek to atone for a breach of honor will often bring their
son or daughter to be fostered and hopefully accepted into the
Phellanyrastralae.
The life of one of my family is never easy. Like many who die
before they retire from service, my mother suffered her permanent
death while guarding an emissary in a foreign land. Many hear
that my mother is dead and speak of sympathy for me, but she served
Quentari as she pledged, and for that there is no grief and only
a little personal sadness. Unlike many human families, the foundation
of my heart was not built upon the love of a single or couple
individuals, but by a whole collectivity of my family and caretakers.
Some have remarked on a certain remoteness of the Phellanyrastralae,
thinking it may be caused by this unattachment to a single family
member, but I counter that such collective caretaking taught me
to cherish many at once. As our duties are paramount to any other
pledge, we may have lovers, but the Phellanyrastralae will rarely
pledge to a Lifemate. Love has a tendency to compromise duty,
and we are taught early the necessity to rein the heart by force
of will.
However, there is no dishonor in recognizing oneself as unable
to devote one's life to Quentari and leaving the family voluntarily
before lifelong Oaths of Service are made. It has been spoken
to me since childhood that Service must be embraced completely
by the soul. It is a demanding way-of-life, and those that would
not accept it willingly should not force themselves down the path
of unhappiness. There are doubts, certainly. Even in my short
time away from Quentari, I have had them. As an elf, I must be
patient, and see if my doubts manifest into soul-sickness or if
they melt away as the snow does to the kiss of the spring sun.
At sixteen, I became an Initiate, and I left the family hall
at Din-Oth to train in Helevorn with the others who learn magics.
While my home in Din-Oth was tended by the caring hand of my Elder
Calomyriel, the hall in Helevorn is overseen by Murienavenestellorimae.
She teaches the ceremonial magics to those of my family and oversees
a number of other instructors, both of the Phellanyrastralae and
others, who guide the students in Helevorn in the arts of magic.
The many years of my life in Helevorn were filled with
more than just magic, but with the flush of youthful love, the
writings of student treatises on all matters of study, and the
learning of yet more ceremonies. There were classes of philosophy
and diplomacy. There were summers of identifying hundreds of plants
and animals and knowing the lore of each. Poetry and geography
and horsemanship... harvesting elderberries and then setting them
to ferment…homecomings with my mother during the seasonal
festivals….All of this spiraled upon itself into a nearly
timeless journey for me, until came the time when I reached adulthood,
and had to strike my own path.
I was frightened of becoming one of the hyaralinde and leaving
all that was familiar to me. But I reminded myself that hundreds
of us did this before. Murienavenestellorimae said that there
would be more learning that could only be done outside of Quentari
and on my own. My mother passed onto Paradise the very spring
I was to leave. I felt very keenly that her challenges were now
my own.
The Ceremony of Cleaving was completed, and I mounted my horse
and took the road through Dar Khabad that led to Myrr and then
through Elysia. The North Star guided me, the very star that the
Elders say is upon the Phellanyrastralae coat-of-arms. I traveled
for several weeks, finally riding through a part of the human
Kingdom of Avendale. At Wainsford, I found the Guildmaster of
the Royal Healers Guild advertising for a scribe. This newborn
Kingdom was still expanding. With such an opportunity for learning,
I stayed more than my customary night.
It now has been more than a year since I left the hall of my
family to embark on the final trial that would test my character
and my convictions in the world outside of Quentari. Although
it has been the briefest of times accounted by the Elves, a mere
"blink of an eye," it has been enough for me to look
within myself and see my own need to be something other than a
creature of aloof and uncompromising duty. Therefore, in the dark
of the moon in the month of July, 663 of the Rule of the Aran
Elenaro, I parted from the Phellanyrastralae. I am now Lilaiethyn
Raenelindor of the House Aeravinya.
